My Testimony....Prayer....the Atonement.....

                  "A strong testimony is the sustaining power of a successful life. It is centered in an
                     understanding of the divine attributes of God our Father, Jesus Christ, and the
                   Holy Ghost. it is secured by a willing reliance upon them. A powerful testimony is
                   grounded in the personal assurance that the Holy Ghost can guide and inspire our
                                                 daily acts for good."  Richard G. Scott

Today I was overcome with gratitude for many things! My Savior and his teachings, the atonement, my family, ward family, friends of all faiths, and especially prayer! Never before have I felt the actual, almost physical feeling of people praying for me. That is what helps to sustain me everyday. If you don't know what to do or how to help; say an earnest sincere prayer, because it really does help. I am living proof that it does...

With all that I have gone through this year; pain, anxiety, fear, almost dying a couple of times and many more things. With all the things that have happened, nothing has even come close to what the Savior did for us, nothing! I am in awe (because of what I have gone through), that to try and comprehend the depth of what he did for us; sacrificing his life so we would be able to return and live with him again. He bled from every pore; for our pain, our sins, our grief and sorrow. Can you even imagine what that must have felt like for him, taking on the world's sin's, griefs, pains and sorrows? What I have felt and gone through this year thus far, is only a small little piece of what he did for you and me. To him I owe my life, my happiness and my continual desire to want to live righteously and serve others.

2nd Week of Chemo - 16 more to go......

     My 2nd week of round (1) of chemo. This week I only have one medicine they give me. Talking with my professor she mentioned that as the medicine levels build up in my system I might feel worse. I asked the nurse at the chemo clinic if that was the case with her experience. My new sweet nurse/friend Kathy, said people usually have (1) bad week and then (2) good weeks in a round. The bad week is usually the one where they give me (2) medicines; Carboplatin and Taxol. They're given the first week of every round. The 2nd and 3rd week in the round I only get (1) medicine (Taxol) each time. Those weeks are easier weeks. So there are (6) rounds with (3) weeks in each round = 18 weeks of chemo. In summary; Week (1) two meds - harder week; Week (2) one med - easier week; Week (3) one med - easier week, then we start over with another rotation/round of (3) weeks. People seemed to be having a hard time understanding my chemo schedule so hopefully this makes sense.
     This week with chemo: Day (1) -not much nausea til maybe (9) pm, itchy by bedtime again (took an allergy pill), it was a pretty good day. Day (2) -nausea off and on (it helps taking nausea meds). I started in with red bumps on my arms. I wasn't sure if they were mosquito bites but they don't itch. My skin is getting dryer and more itchy, especially my scalp...wonder why.... I did start in with a headache last night but it wasn't to bad. Sometimes I just lay there in bed not being able to go to sleep, then my mind tends to get thinking more intently about things, worrying etc. making it even harder to go to sleep. So that's when I get up and take an Ambien. I do occasionally get a really dry cotton mouth and sweet foods don't sit really well except Italian ice/Creamies. I mostly tend to gravitate towards the salty foods. When I was pregnant most of the time my cravings were for salty things-wonder if there is any correlation? Gatorade sits really well in my stomach. I do notice tingling like when a cold sore is starting (I had that reaction last week also). I know you get mouth sores; I wonder when those will start, then salty things will probably be out. I guess I'll enjoy them while I can. All of these things I've mentioned are reactions other people have experienced. For more info follow this link:

Cancer.net/navigating-cancer-care/side-effects/skin-reactions

Thanks to everyone who has so graciously helped our family and to those who have prayed, sent good vibes, or whatever your way of wanting the best is for our family and myself. ...."if you have done it unto the least of these my brethren ye have done it unto me..." Matthew 25:40

The Countdown begins - 18 weeks of chemo....

I did a little bit much this last weekend and payed for it....live and learn right... 

     Today was the first day of chemo for 18 weeks. My sister came with me. Putting the IV in was the worst part. They gave me nausea medicine and an antihistamine before getting the Taxol medication because people can have a reaction to it. The only real thing that happened was that my hands got itchy and my face was flushed but it went away. The second medicine they gave me was Carboplatin. The minute it started going in, my mouth tasted like metal uggg...They say that food doesn't taste the same for some people so we'll see. I got sleepy while they were giving me the medicine. Later that night I started feeling a little queasy and maybe a little headache. I did feel like my allergies were acting up so I took an allergy pill. I don't know if it was from the chemo or my seasonal allergies. So far so good.
    Day 2 of chemo, Tuesday. really slept late this morning. My son Paul came in and woke me up, I looked at the clock and it was 10:15 am. I haven't slept in like that in a long time... I had more nausea today and a major headache! Chris came over to check on me that evening and that was the first time I really felt like throwing up. So I took some nausea meds and laid down, that seemed to do the trick. Night time maybe that will be my sick time. They say it follows with how you had morning sickness and for me it was night sickness with each of my boys. It was funny while Chris was here he reached over and pulled a piece of hair on my head and said is it coming out yet? Well it tugged and didn't come out so I guess not yet... Apparently my sweet daughter-in-law Courtney came by later (after hearing from Chris that I was really sick) to check on me. She said I was sawing logs. She covered me up and turned the lights off. I had no idea she had even been there, so glad I have family and friends watching out for me even when I'm not aware of it.
     Day 3 of chemo, Wednesday. Mark gave me a hash-brown from McDonald's to eat - I took one bite and said yuck it tastes like metal. I started off taking an ibuprofen and a nausea pill to see if I could beat it. It seemed to work ok. Later I tried a bite of a doughnut and I spit it out because it tasted like perfume....
     Day 4 of chemo, Thursday. A little nausea when I first get up and off and on throughout the day until evening...no headache really today, but worn out. I get waves of feeling sick, sweating, and feeling hot. Not sure if that's a hot flash. I am taking one class this semester with everything that is going on. I don't want to get behind and I want to finish nursing school! I met with the DRC (disability resource center) at the college and my professor both said they would help with whatever I needed but I had to get the Dr.'s note first. My first day of class was today. Physically I was worn out. I ran into a bunch of friends at school. It was so fun to see them for just a minute! When I talked with my Professor and told her about my cancer -chemo-etc. She made the comment that as the chemo levels build up I might be sicker...umm didn't realize that one. Well we'll see how it goes.
     Day 5 after the chemo, Friday. Today wasn't bad , the nausea comes and goes. I have found that Honey 

Nut Cheerios for what ever reason calms my nausea down. We went to the Ogden Temple Open house it poured on us big time! Then we got something to eat after I wasn't nauseated (probably from the cheerios he he he). My dinner tasted so good!
 
Day 6 after chemo, Saturday. It was a good day. I didn't really get nauseated until later that evening. I went to my grand-daughters Pixie Hollow Fairy Birthday party. They are so dang cute!





Day 6 after chemo, Sunday. I went home between some of my church mtgs. to grab a snack, I was feeling a little nauseous. So I packed me a snack bag and brought a glass with my diet Dr. Pepper in it and then came back to church. Believe it or not I actually took it to church with me. Everyone was great about it though.

Genetic testing....

After 10 days the pain is finally just periodic pain, unless I do too much.

I decided that with my cancer being rare and if by going public could help someone else with more information then that's what I would do. Later I realized that it was also my way I could share with the world how important the gospel is in my life and how it has been helping and giving me strength to meet this adventure head on.

It is really an alone feeling knowing you have something raising havoc in your body, and your life, especially when I feel good right now (except recovering from the surgery) and no one in your immediate family can really relate to you.

People from work, family, friends etc. have all pitched in to get me a wig and I’m thrilled! You have all been a great support!

Yesterday I met with a genetics counselor. In that discussion a lot of things came up that I really didn't have some of the answers to about my family. So the counselor wanted me to see if I could find out some of that information because it would be beneficial for the genetic testing I am having done. She wanted me to gather information from; me, my children, & my grand-children, all my siblings, their children & grand-children, my parents, their siblings/half siblings, the siblings children and my grandparents. I need to know any major disease/condition and cancer. With the cancer I need to know; 1) the age when diagnosed, 2) what type of cancer, 3) when they passed away, 4) any known treatment. The reason I need this information is that the genetic testing will be testing for specific genes that are known to be associated with different cancers. If they can find which gene then they can give better medical recommendations as how to treat the cancer. With my cancer of fallopian tube cancer and being a rare cancer it will really help in determining my treatment. I really want to kick this cancer and be around for a long time and with this information I will have a better chance. I had the blood drawn yesterday and she said it takes about (3) weeks to get it back. Right now they are checking for genes associated with these different types of cancers; breast, ovarian, colorectal, endometrial, melanoma, pancreatic, gastric, prostate, & other similar cancers. Men and women may both be at risk FYI.

The recent update is that I start chemo on Monday; I will go every week for 18 weeks. Oh BTW I got my hair chopped off, really short in preparation for the baldness....

Getting my hair cut off.....

 
    

Getting my haircut! I wanted to cut as much as I could in case I could donate it. I think we cut off about 8-9". My sister and I made it a play date we both got our hair done at the same time. I knew I needed to cut it so it wouldn't be quite as a shock when I lose it all. Most everything was in the back that she  was  cutting so I couldn't really see what was happening even though I knew what was. When she handed me the first ponytail of hair I held it and sighed, keep going. So the stylist kept cutting and when she handed me the last ponytail of hair to hold - it hit me. I'm really cutting my hair for a reason not just for fun. Even though it's a fun new style I won't have it for very long... I got teary eyed with the realization. My sister and Miriam pulled me back to reality and we started talking about the cut and then how to style it etc. From then on we just had fun. I thought it turned out quite cute and they did also. I knew my hair had curl in it but boy did it have curl once the length came off. Well it'll be a fun style to work with the next couple of weeks. I'm glad I did cut it though, so it hopefully won't be as hard, losing the short hair in clumps rather than the long hair in clumps. So here are some pics:
                     "Getting my hair cut short.....it's been a long time since it's been this short...."

     

   

Reading the pathology report..........

    Friday 8/8, after the surgery the doctor said to call him the following Tuesday to get the results. Well you know me I have to read the results as soon as they show up on my records. I understood most of it especially when it says the organ (like bladder) and then says no malignancy. There were tons of things they checked like; bladder, diaphragm, biopsies etc. which the doctor told he was going to. They were listed in alphabetical order A-V, then they were labeled; negative for malignancy, no malignancy seen, lymph nodes negative for metastatic carcinoma, tissue without lymph nodes identified and then when I came to the letter "T" it read: metastatic poorly-differentiated serous carcinoma, omentum.....my heart sunk I knew they had found some more cancer. It was only Friday, I couldn't call for the final results until Tuesday - I called anyway, and the nurse said she didn't think they had gotten all the reports back, so still call on Tuesday. I had put a call into the Chemo doctor earlier for something else so I asked her about the pathology - she confirmed what I had read.... In our discussion she mentioned that because they found the cancer in still another organ system that it automatically moves it to stage 3 but an early stage 3. She said usually when most people find cancer its in stage 1 or 3. I was different that they had found it when it was stage 2. Usually people that have it in their omentum its covered with quite a bit of cancer, just not a small spot like mine. They couldn't even see it during surgery,; it wasn't until they sliced it in pathology that they found it. The nodule measured 1.5 x 1.0 x 1.0 cm/mm (they are the same) which in inches means; 0.59" x 0.39" x 0.39" quite small but still cancer. So it's about 1/2" x 1/3" x1/3" roughly.

                                                    

       Saturday 8/9, so many things going through my mind...I was sensitive about something this morning and Mark didn't realize it -then did, and felt bad...I think after that we both had a hard knock of reality and what the coming months ahead would be for us. Later I told Chris but told him I wasn't going to say anything until I had talked with the doctor on Tuesday. Kind of a melancholy day. Still hurting but I could finally turn on my side at night with minimal pain. I can bend a little further but if I'm up for to long then I begin to hurt, feel faint and have to go lay down for a bit. After a bit my energy is back and I can do more. It's just part of the recovery from surgery. I started to ooze/bleed from one of my incisions around my belly button. Just watching it for now. I don't want to get septic again, like in May!!!!

  Sunday 8/10, still oozing and bleeding a little through the gauze. Just going to watch it. Had a nice visit with my brother and his wife!

      Monday 8/11, called the doctor on the oozing it was normal - just watch for signs of infection. I also called the Orthopedic doctor on Austin's wrist because it was still bothering him. The PA looked at the xray and said it was broken but they couldn't work him in until next week to put a hard cast on. So he needs to treat it like a broken arm and wear the brace until then.
     The genetics counselor called and said with Fallopian tube cancer there is usually a genetic component...so they want to meet with me, take a history etc. I didn't think there was but I guess there is - more to follow on that. so I need to gather all the information on who has had cancer in my family, which really isn't very many but there are still some.