Endurance....Side Effects of Taxol....Ingrown Toenail....

     Everything takes extra time for us getting ready to go somewhere; with Mark and his broken ankle and two hammer toes fixed (1) on each foot, Paul who is generally slow anyway and then myself with the cancer and my foot in a boot. I'm exhausted just getting everyone ready let alone going to where we are going. Austin, Mitch and Chris have been really helpful especially with Mark. Paul has actually been really helpful also. This is the process we go through with Mark every time we go somewhere; to leave the house he uses his scooter to go to the front door, someone holds the door open, he can use the railing & the scooter to slowly go down the steps, then he gets in the car and someone has to lift his scooter into the back of the car. Getting back into the house is a little different. Someone gets the scooter out, he gets on it, scoots over to the front steps, someone hands him his crutch and his gloves and he hops up the steps, then someone lifts up the scooter to the porch he gets on and goes inside. As you can see it's a project. He is doing really well except for the boredom. Sometimes I would keep Paul home either because I was sick, didn't have the energy or was overwhelmed. See Mark usually would get Paul up and ready for the bus and work and now since he's been not weight bearing it's fallen to me to take care of him which is ok but with being sick I just did what I could.
     I ended up getting an ingrown toenail so my doctor put me on an antibiotic. It wasn't getting better so I had to go to the foot doctor and have her cut the nail out. She extended the antibiotic. She also told me that one of the chemo medicines I was on the (Taxol) had a side effect of ingrown toenails.

Last Chemo Treatment!!!!...feelings...

     I am quite relieved that this year is coming to a close and hoping that the New Year will be filled with; good health, love, optimism, growth, and happiness! I had my last Chemo appointment last Monday a few days before Christmas. I was hoping I would feel better to be able to enjoy Christmas. I did enjoy it I just got extremely exhausted along with the usual nausea. I'm excited to think that I won't be nauseated anymore! I'm getting used to wearing my wig. It gets hot so at home I usually wear a bandanna or a hat. I don't really care if people that come by frequently see me bald but I'm still uncomfortable with people in general seeing me. Like Matt & Mitch have seen me bald and the family. Peyton is getting used to it. I like the wig. It was bright blonde when I got it, it wasn't me so I colored it the day after I got it. I used a colored mousse because I wasn't sure how quickly it would grab the color. I thought it turned out really good. It was my mom's German Christmas party that same night. It took me forever to color the wig so we were late to the party. When I walked in everyone oohed and awed over how good my wig looked and how natural it was. The party was fun.  

     We have had one thing after another happen this year, I hope we are done. Being sick has worn on me. Physically I'm exhausted. I have never felt a total exhaustion like the exhaustion chemo gives you. My red blood cells are low so I'm anemic, my white blood cells are low so my chances of getting sick are increased, so I'm constantly washing my hands. With having low red blood cells (which are the cells that carry your oxygen) your body isn't getting enough oxygen throughout your body, causing you to have effects like; when picking something up off of the floor and being dizzy upon standing up, getting winding climbing the stairs, and not thinking clearly. You also get what they call chemo brain. The doctor told me it was like not forgetting but not being able to come up with the right word. At first during the chemo I didn't notice it to much but towards the end I began to notice it a lot. When I sit down to write something is where I notice it the most. I will go back and read what I had written and it didn't make sense. I either had double words, left out a word or had put in another word for what I actually meant to say. In a conversation I'll be telling someone something and I can't come up with the word, so I will explain what the word I want does or something like that. The person I'm talking with can usually help fill in the word or I might come up with it on my own after awhile. It's frustrating. I don't trust what I'm trying to say sometimes. I have had some depression creep in at times but I think it's mostly because I'm become worn down.

2nd to Last Chemo Treatment!...Going Bald...Getting My Wig, ......

I am really excited to talk with my Son Elder Featherstone (Parker) on Christmas!! Today is my last chemo treatment! I will be sick for a day or two but will hopefully be better to enjoy Christmas. My doctor’s office is closing. Her partner is retiring so Dr. Prystas will be moving over to Huntsman Cancer. I will continue to see her there. I will also continue to see my OB Oncologist. Last week was my last visit at their office. My nurse Kathy gave me a treat bag with a granola like mix in it with a label saying, congratulations on your last treatment!

I have now had massive amounts (handfuls) of hair coming out, so I made the decision to call my wig guy (Rich) and tell him I was ready. I had been shedding so much it got to be so annoying, I was done, it was coming off. So on Friday afternoon after Peyton’s preschool
program I received a phone call from Rich saying he had an opening at 5 pm and wanted to know if I wanted it? Of course I did, or did I? I was ready…We went to the salon, Mark, Courtney and I. Rich wanted Mark to wait out front so it would be a surprise, so he went around the mall while he waited. Courtney stayed with me (she was so great!). We all helped pick the color of the wig. Then they sat me down for buzzing it off. I had her turn me so I couldn’t watch it in the mirror (Courtney took pictures). I was nervous but I was ready. After they shaved all my hair off she took me over to wash my hair and do a scalp treatment, then she brought me back to the hair chair. I looked up…..I was bald….I was doing ok. My first thought was I looked like Lex Luther. Just then the song from the movie “Frozen” came on over the radio. The words I heard at that particular moment were; let it go, let it go…It was at that moment that I broke into tears. I was letting it go. Cute Courtney was teary as well and came over to give me a hug. It was at that moment that I realized how sick I was. I looked like someone who was sick. We shared a sweet moment together.

  ....Ready to get my wig....               ....Starting the buzz....                         ....My Mohawk....                

Picture #4 Almost finished, eyes still closed...
            #5 Realization just how sick I really was. "Let it go"...
            #6 Fitting the wig...
            #7 Cutting the wig
            #8 The new me...for awhile....      

Since my doctors office was closing I actually had my last chemo treatment at LDS Hospital. They were really sweet and gave me a bottle of Martinelies to congratulate me even though I hadn't been getting all my treatments with them.
                                         

Being the Recipients of Selfless Acts of Love...........

     I have to write this while I'm at chemo today. We had the progressive dinner yesterday, it was fun but exhausting. Mark only went to the main course at Lorraine & Cort's house. Santa came for all the kids. Courtney was so sweet; she went shopping for me, made the salads, helped clean up etc. Chris helped also just not quite as much as Courtney. At the beginning of the week I was exhausted from getting up with Mark in the night. I had a final on my birthday and then went to chemo (a 2 med week). So between taking care of Mark, me being sick with chemo and having to get Paul up and ready for work and then being up in the night with Mark I was shot! I ended up keeping Paul home a couple of days.
     Monday night Ethan and Michael (some boys in the ward) put the lights on the tree. On Tuesday Lisa and Jenn came to help clean the house and decorate. It was really nice of them. They decorated things differently than I usually do, it was really cute. I got a new perspective on how I could decorate things differently. Wednesday night we celebrated my birthday. I got a new laptop and its touch, very cool! My other one is so slow and I'm afraid it was going to give out in the middle of school. It’s really nice. Chris did a great job picking it out and then following through with getting it after the stores web site went down right after going on sale. Thursday, Friday and Saturday I was sick. Now the littlest thing makes me throw up. On Friday my dear friend MaryAnn and her husband Paul paid to have their housekeeper come to clean my house. It was so needed for me mentally they will never know how much I appreciated that! Saturday was the ward Christmas breakfast, we went but got there late, we made it though. People were really sweet to come and say hi. Again Courtney was there to help Mark with getting his food because I wasn't feeling very good.
     Our sweet friends and ward have been so awesome to help us with bringing in meals, cleaning, picking things up at the store, sending notes, and stopping by. My family has been just as awesome! My Dad calls me many times to see how I'm doing, even though he's going through his own health issues right now. 
     If ye have done it unto to the least of these then ye have done it unto me...

Thank you so very much to all of you who have touched our lives in so many ways, may you all be                                                           blessed as abundantly as we have...

Really starting to lose my hair....Why Now?....Mark's Surgery......

I have my school final this week and a two med chemo week. On Saturday we have the ward breakfast and Sunday we have the progressive dinner. I hope I feel better so I can go. So as you could tell in my pictures I’m losing more of my hair. I don’t want to even touch it for fear more will fall out. I even asked the nurse last week if she thought it would still come out at this point. She said no and now it starts. My head is so itchy also. I wonder if the stress of school and Mark having his surgery added to the problem. I have only 3 more chemo treatments!!!! Then I’m done. They will check me quarterly and if they find something or suspicious about something then they will do a scan. They will continue to monitor the cancer marker called CA-125. If it goes up then there’s something to look at. If it stays down then we’re good. They want the marker to be below 35. I am now at 29! When this all started I was at 59. I went to see the GI doctor. He put me on a stimulate stool medicine because he doesn’t want any bowel sitting inside my intestines. He thinks the medicine and time, along with finishing chemo will help the ulcers to heal. I think it might actually be helping.

            Well Dad had his surgery on his broken ankle and both hammer toes one on each foot. We’ve got pictures, they’re gross so be prepared. When Paul looked at them he said that it looked like a bagel dog (big and puffy). Most everyone gets grossed out when they see his toes, especially Chris and Austin. He is doing really well. He hated the crutches so we had them bring out a knee scooter and he loves using that. It has a basket in front for him to carry stuff with him. So far he’s done ok with being non-weight bearing on his right foot. He keeps saying, can I really do this for 6 weeks? His left foot is in a Velcro shoe thing that’s long in the front to help protect his toes. There is a big wire coming out of the middle of his toes and then the end of it is bent. It’s not held in by anything so he has to be careful not to walk too much so it won’t come out or get bent. If it does then they have to go back into surgery and repair it. They had to break his toes in order to fix them. The surgery for his ankle was displaced (meaning there was about a 1/8 of an inch space between the two bones). So they had to do a bone graft to fill in that area. They took the bone from his foot. Normally they take it from your knee but with having his knees replaced they couldn’t take any from there. The doctor said his foot was out of alignment so he was going to straighten that out as well. After 6 weeks he’ll start physical therapy.

            It has been a Godsend to have Ryan out of work at this particular time so we will be able to use him, Austin and Mike to help run the business while Mark is laid up. He committed to work at least until the end of December. Ryan is good to work with Austin. The ward and family has been so great to help! With dinners cleaning, running errands etc. Craig even came up and he and Austin put up the Christmas lights outside.